As published in The Village of West Clay Living magazine

November is a time of Thanks.  We celebrate Thanksgiving, Veteran’s Day and begin preparations for the Holidays.  For some, this time of year has become routine, rushing from one thing to the next, throwing a “thanks” here and a “thanks” there without even eye contact to deliver the message. Saying “thanks” is easy, but delivering true gratitude is more of an art form, requiring a concerted effort to be authentic and sincere.  

Appreciation is often something we take for granted, but it’s a skill set we need to nurture to improve.  Like any other art form, it takes shape through commitment, intention, and practice.  Our natural tendencies for sharing appreciation may vary, thus our need to nurture and cultivate this skill set will vary as well.  

So, how do we cultivate an Art of Appreciation?

1. Be sincere.  When giving thanks, take the time to pause, look the person in the eye, and deliver sincere appreciation.

2. Articulate the What and the Why behind our thanks.  We often just say “Thanks.”  Try adding the What and the Why next time, such as, “Thank you for babysitting, this allowed us to have some much needed time away to reconnect during a stressful time. These getaways help keep our marriage strong.”   

3. Show empathy and make a connection.  On Veteran’s Day this year, think about why the veteran’s service means something and what it has provided us.  After reflecting, in addition to the common, “Thank you for your service,” we may include something like,

“My grandfather served as well and told me stories about the sacrifices he and his family made for our country.  I’m sure you did too.  Your sacrifices have enriched the lives of others and we are forever grateful.”  

4. Remember it’s about them not you.  Giving thanks is about the person or group we are thanking and not about us.  It means recognizing not our own wants and needs, but those of someone else.  It’s pure selflessness.  By acknowledging this simple approach, we can be led to ideas that will allow us to give thanks in new ways.  When showing appreciation through gifts, select a gift that is meaningful and memorable to the person we are thanking.  If our expression of gratitude doesn’t ring true with the person we are trying to reach, then we’ve fallen short of our goal.  

When we head to Thanksgiving dinner this year to enjoy a meal and fellowship, we could show up, and laugh, and eat, and that would be fine.  We could also make a concerted effort to practice the Art of Appreciation.  When sharing what we are thankful for, let’s remember the tips listed above.  

To demonstrate our gratitude, we could gather photos from the year and have a slideshow ready to play before our Thanksgiving meal.  Share stories and thank those around us for the memories created and captured for years to come.

If my little brother loves mashed potatoes but I like sweet potatoes, I’ll bring the mashed potatoes to say, “I see you.  I care for you.  I love you.  And, I’m Thankful for you!”  

Simple, but meaningful, actions can say so much. 

Giving thanks is more than an emotion.  True appreciation is an art form.  Art connects us and is a deliberate expression through our creativity and raw humanity.

So remember, as you enter this beautiful month of thanks, release your creative, compassionate self and see it as an opportunity to exercise appreciation, not as an expectation, but as an art form.

“Here’s to those who inspire you and don’t even know it.” —Anonymous